Not-home alone

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Today was a really needed day of rest. My legs were requesting it, my butt was requesting it. My mind was also in need of a pause, although I was sad to let the Chinese team move forward.

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It’s been a great week riding more or less in parallel, and then in a group for a few days. Kansas has not been a solitary ride thanks to them, it was a nice change and a good experience. They’ll also scout the areas ahead for good stops 😉

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So, I’m back on my own. I have been going on almost exclusively alone up to Kansas, but I must say, I got accustomed very fast to a group. And looking at them leaving this morning reminded me of other partings, very painful ones.

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I’ve been in a couple for several years. We had a very tough last year, parting and trying again a few times. And every time she went away, after a discussion in a bar or restaurant, I made the terrible mistake of watching her go away. Don’t do that. It’s a powerful image that burns your retina forever. You’re left with this depressingly sad memory, that will never fade. And in other such occasions, even apparently much less involved ones like this morning, these memories pop up and crush you. I’m alone again, in the middle of another continent.

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Sure, it’s exactly the purpose of the journey, and the embodiment of the spiritual part. But I had not realized the extent of the solitude part until I was in this motel room in San Francisco. Now I have to get used again to being on the road on my own.

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It’s certainly another analogy for life : you make your own path, with victories and difficulties, you meet other people, some of whom share a part of your trip. But you have to stand on your own. Having passed half of the journey, I’m more comfortable for the days ahead though (I have stopped coughing after Pueblo for instance). Maybe just like you build confidence over time in life as well. The main difference being that I know where my trip ends. In life you can’t plan that ahead. I was going to write “you don’t have the luxury of knowing”, because I like to be organized, but the uncertainty of it all is part of the experience.

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Here’s a good summary 🙂
http://muaddib.soup.io/post/378157572/Image

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