Other people

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This has been a day of rest at Blanding. I haven’t done much, which was exactly the goal. I just hope I would feel more rested.

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Yesterday evening I went to the only theater around, showing Dragons 2. I’m making it a habit to try all theaters I pass by apparently 🙂 and of course that means popcorn and butter – the American way. The movie was especially impressive technically – great textures, great rendering. Not enough to watch it again today though !

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Sadly I didn’t sleep a lot. I was still up just before the night’s run of GoT. So I watched it 🙂 And as usual I was up at sunrise. With so little sleep I spend the day in a haze. I still did the required shopping, laundry and eating of course. I also went to visit the “end of the cedars state park” which is a nice museum on the local Indian tribes, and a very small ruin kinda like the one by Boulder.

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As most other cities around here Blanding is really really small and very extended. But after all 3000 people is not so many. Having one supermarket, a cinema is usual for a city of that size. Ten motels and as many gas stations or garages isn’t so much, by my experience.

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So why didn’t I sleep well ? Most probably because I got the first mail from my mother in more than three months. Was it about my trip, about my situation ? Was it to finally answer the questions I’m asking her for years now ? Was it to react to the shocking news that my father never was a teacher ? No. It was only to defend herself that she never lied to me. Except of course by never telling the whole truth, but as I said in a much earlier post, she probably doesn’t even realize that, or she doesn’t care.

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When I was freaking out a couple days ago, I was thinking that, if hell can be other people, it can also be the complete absence of other people. I’m clearly not meant to be a hermit 🙂 Plus, you don’t choose your family, and you can’t get other people to do what you want. Getting answers from someone that doesn’t want to answer can take a long time, and you may even never get the answer. You have to get along with that. It’s just surprising when that someone is supposed to care about you. That’s when I conclude that this basic premise is false – a conclusion I already reached during therapy a long time ago 🙂

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